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Quotes
Submitted by doughnut on October 15, 2006 - 11:52pm.
Way back when I was in school, I started keeping a document containing many funny quotes that I'd hear or be told. Eventually, after school, this turned into a "write that down" list. I'm sure if I looked back through my files, I could find that file too.
But for now, I'll start fresh...
---
Taylor: "When you're good, you're good."
Blake: "When you're bad, everyone tells you."
Rob: "Horses need panties."
"It's a movie, shutup!" - Many, at once, directed at Blake
Blake: "It's a Skittles packet, shutup" - Upon Taylor getting lots of green skittles each time he poured some out.
While looking at his own shoes, Taylor says "Blake, when did you get work boots?"
"It took you THAT long to walk to the door?" - Blake
"I had to open it too!" - Taylor getting up to go to the bathroom
"Can you stop the bottles from moving?" Blake when trying to take a photo of two Smirnoff black bottles.
"Sounds like anything he touches turns to fuck." - Rob
"Hope only lasts so long before reality kicks in." - Blake
hehe some nice ones there.
Submitted by Nick on October 15, 2006 - 11:56pm.hehe some nice ones there.
Some choice ones were...
Taylor: "When you're good, you're good."
Blake: "When you're bad, everyone tells you."
&
"Sounds like anything he touches turns to fuck." - Rob
i had a hell of alot too...
Submitted by burto on October 15, 2006 - 11:56pm.i had a hell of alot too... on my old dead drives unfortunately...
"have you seen my phone" amy about her lost phone
"yea... it's ugly" rob
rob amy and scott swimming in his pool... scott goes to the toilet... comes back..
"what took so long man" rob
"i fell asleep" scott
thats all i can think of 4 now...
"I brought a big dildo!" Rob
Submitted by doughnut on October 15, 2006 - 11:57pm."I brought a big dildo!" Rob showing up with a bottle of Lido
Herpies is worse than marriage... You can get rid of marriage - Rob
doughnut says:but i'm
Submitted by burto on October 24, 2006 - 9:07pm.doughnut says:
but i'm rarely at the top of a list for anything.
Castro - says:
toppest retard... lol
it wasnt me... but fuck its
Submitted by burto on October 25, 2006 - 1:03am.it wasnt me... but fuck its funny
"the only reason to wait 1 month for sex is if the girl's 17 and 11 months"
Who was it? Sounds like
Submitted by bethisbored on October 25, 2006 - 4:41pm.Who was it? Sounds like something Van Wilder would say....
Most people haven't seen the
Submitted by death on October 25, 2006 - 10:14pm.Most people haven't seen the movie "waiting" yet, but that's what Beth is refering to...
Ryan Reynolds?
Submitted by burto on October 26, 2006 - 10:02am.Ryan Reynolds? na its from How I Met Your Mother... Barney ofcourse
Beth Funnies
Submitted by burto on October 26, 2006 - 11:27am.Beth says:
My Car's not Fuckin' Nightrider, it doesnt come when i call it.
everyones like "get a car life will be wonderful" but no one was like "you will still be fucked if your car isnt parked anywhere near where you will need it"
the cold reality kicked in?
Submitted by death on October 26, 2006 - 7:31pm.the cold reality kicked in? haha...my car IS nightrider tho, but don't ask me to show you, it gets stage fright...
Didnt realise my angry at
Submitted by bethisbored on October 26, 2006 - 7:36pm.Didnt realise my angry at work msn statements would end up posted here... fucking not night rider car... Heath your car is just as crap as mine when it comes to the special pick ups.
its true heathy.... you
Submitted by burto on October 26, 2006 - 9:33pm.its true heathy.... you cant make your car cum... but keep trying..
Rob: its a constant party in
Submitted by doughnut on October 26, 2006 - 10:36pm.Rob: its a constant party in my ears... and no ones invited...
fuck oath man.... its a
Submitted by burto on October 26, 2006 - 10:39pm.fuck oath man.... its a frat party in my head and real life aint movin as fast..
fat cunt in the drivers seat dunno what he doin..
(rob sits at home alone at his computer with the O.G. track bangin in this mothaaaa...) i miss my bexta 6 cd..
dont like the quiet roun
Submitted by burto on October 27, 2006 - 2:18am.dont like the quiet roun hurr.... always gotta have it bumpin.. 2am pissin neighbors off stylez.... i need em to hate me.. so i can use it.. feed the energy.. my eyes hav had enough but im still boppin like i had too much cool aide..
rob said
Submitted by burto on October 27, 2006 - 6:04pm.if we start partyin tonight... we might goto sleep the same time taylor does..
contr-addiction...
Submitted by burto on October 30, 2006 - 8:59pm.i feel like jumping around in the boiler room...
after a nap..
Rob, while telling a drunken
Submitted by doughnut on October 30, 2006 - 9:09pm.Rob, while telling a drunken story sees a servo and blurts out "We need to get some fucking chips!" then continues with his story.
While telling the same story as above, realises he's holding a box of fortune cookies and says "Why am I holding these fucking fortune cookies."
---
Not funny to others, more "have to be there" or "in the moment" lines.
the cookie's fortune
Submitted by burto on October 30, 2006 - 9:14pm.not funny to others.. but those who attend... fuck im a crack up..
i believe the answer to the fortune cookies in question was that who ever was next to me was putting their seat belt on... and neglected to retrieve the cookies fortune from my posession
rob... standing with fiona
Submitted by burto on November 4, 2006 - 5:44pm.rob... standing with fiona in a queue for food... holding 2 plates..
"we're a team... you stack em i'll hold em... you cant have a TEAM without ME..."
we all cry sometimes....
Submitted by burto on November 5, 2006 - 10:38pm.we all cry sometimes.... when we stub our toes on the corner of the bench... or pluck nose hairs..
this ones old.. and was
Submitted by burto on November 6, 2006 - 2:36pm.this ones old.. and was hillarious at the time...
~rob farts...~
Beth: ~puts shirt on~ "Jesus!... Its in my shirt... how the hell did it get in there before i did... tryna kill me"
I just threw up in my mouth
Submitted by bethisbored on November 6, 2006 - 3:05pm.I just threw up in my mouth a little from the memory of that fart... Ye gods man, it was one of your worst EVER!!
Not a quote... But I was
Submitted by doughnut on November 6, 2006 - 3:55pm.Not a quote... But I was just reminded of the time when Rob farted on that small child.
Hilarious.
definately hillarious... "i
Submitted by burto on November 6, 2006 - 10:01pm.definately hillarious... "i fart on small children" slow walking ones... on stairs behind me... butt in face height
Castro - says: you hooked up
Submitted by burto on November 15, 2006 - 11:08pm.Castro - says:
you hooked up with heaps of cunts..
XXXXXX says:
i dont like the use of the term 'heaps'
Castro - says:
tons
Ha... i crack me up...
Sometimes you crack me up,
Submitted by Clare on November 18, 2006 - 10:23pm.Sometimes you crack me up, others...
That was Grant wasn't it?
He wishes!
ha!...
Submitted by burto on November 19, 2006 - 9:00pm.ha!... the pot calling the kettle grant?
Beth says: people like
Submitted by burto on November 20, 2006 - 12:16pm.Beth says:
people like assumpting
Castro says:
especially when theres assumpting goin on... lol
doughnut says: ride your dog
Submitted by Clare on November 21, 2006 - 9:51pm.doughnut says:
ride your dog then
Cuffs says:
ewwwwww you sicko
Hehe
thats a new low dude...
Submitted by burto on November 21, 2006 - 9:53pm.thats a new lowe dude... (if u finish up on the inside)
Thats so so wrong Theres
Submitted by Clare on November 21, 2006 - 9:54pm.Thats so so wrong
Theres chicks in the cross, why a dog!?
She took it to the gutter,
Submitted by doughnut on November 21, 2006 - 10:02pm.She took it to the gutter, then dragged it beyond.
I was just letter her know that she's not getting a pony.
But I want
Submitted by Clare on November 22, 2006 - 10:58pm.But I want pony!!!!!!!
*stomps foot*
Rob quote: "Why is that girl
Submitted by doughnut on November 26, 2006 - 8:06pm.Rob quote:
"Why is that girl by herself? Oh, she's ugly. That's why."
i crack me up... sometimes i
Submitted by burto on November 26, 2006 - 8:51pm.i crack me up...
sometimes i find myself being overly verbally descriptive... often ends up being entertaining...
better than sittin in silence
might i add... we were in a
Submitted by burto on November 26, 2006 - 8:52pm.might i add... we were in a car at the time.. passing said chick
Just before diving in the
Submitted by doughnut on November 27, 2006 - 9:02pm.Just before diving in the pool, Rob wonders why Jack the dog isn't allowed in the water...
"How's Jack's ass crust any worse than my ass crust."
exactly... who says a dog
Submitted by burto on November 27, 2006 - 9:04pm.exactly... who says a dog will make the water nastier than my 3(?maybe longer) day no showerin, same panty wearin ass... dog is small.. burto is huge
Dog doesn't do smelly farts,
Submitted by bethisbored on November 28, 2006 - 9:13am.Dog doesn't do smelly farts, Burto does huge smelly farts... And Jack licks his asshole clean every day, you don't see Burto putting in that kind of effort!
im not much good when
Submitted by burto on November 28, 2006 - 3:02pm.im not much good when anything requires effort
~Undisclosed~ says: gonna
Submitted by burto on December 4, 2006 - 6:48pm.~Undisclosed~ says:
gonna watch the sun set... dunno why
just feel like doing that
Castro - says:
queer...
reminds me of a gay dude who crashed his car watching the sun set...
Blake: "2 grand tv, and I'm
Submitted by Mercury on December 9, 2006 - 1:11pm.Blake:
"2 grand tv, and I'm sitting here watching a fucking black & white movie. And its not even widescreen."
go outside or something...
Submitted by burto on December 9, 2006 - 1:13pm.go outside or something...
Better resolution on the TV.
Submitted by doughnut on December 10, 2006 - 11:49am.Better resolution on the TV.
Feel the same way about my
Submitted by death on December 11, 2006 - 11:40am.Feel the same way about my $2800 tv...futurama is not widescreen or digital, disappointing....haha...still love my tv tho...might get foxtel put on soon =D
does your tv curl up with
Submitted by burto on December 12, 2006 - 11:33pm.does your tv curl up with you at night....
yes it does....its a big tv,
Submitted by death on December 13, 2006 - 7:40pm.yes it does....its a big tv, and it knows how to satisfy my needs haha
what needs are left to
Submitted by burto on December 14, 2006 - 4:08pm.what needs are left to satisfy?.... homewrecker...
no more luxuries dude... u gotta start saving for the future... theres big pants to fill..
Don't worry about my needs,
Submitted by bethisbored on December 18, 2006 - 11:53am.Don't worry about my needs, I'm ditching both of you and running off to the island of lesbos with ya mums.
Remember, coconut milk is a
Submitted by doughnut on December 18, 2006 - 2:10pm.Remember, coconut milk is a natural laxative, and if you can, send a post card.
Like, perhaps, some sort of
Submitted by bethisbored on December 18, 2006 - 2:17pm.Like, perhaps, some sort of photo/video postcard?
Indeed. I'm sure the island
Submitted by doughnut on December 18, 2006 - 4:21pm.Indeed.
I'm sure the island will have broadband... You can videoblog your adventures.
LOL i hope i will be getting
Submitted by bethisbored on December 18, 2006 - 10:14pm.LOL i hope i will be getting paid for them... Need to fund my island adventures!
if not it might present
Submitted by burto on December 18, 2006 - 10:32pm.if not it might present career opportunities when you come back...
Book deals.. appearances.. a current affair exclusives.. subway ads?
eaaat FRESH!
wasnt me... noy my shiney
Submitted by burto on December 18, 2006 - 10:21pm.wasnt me... not my shiney tv... infact i bought you this tv here
"I just want to something...
Submitted by burto on December 10, 2006 - 6:30pm."I just want to something... and thats it...
but it has to be the right something....
thats all i want..."
said by me, in reference to absolutely nothing specific... out of the blue
shortly followed by a "it makes sense to me, shuddup..."
"i keep thinking of shit to
Submitted by burto on December 12, 2006 - 11:32pm."i keep thinking of not interesting time filler shit to do... then "oh... thatd suck alone"
visual image of a loner on a ferris wheel comes to mind
or sum 1 on one of those 2 people water bikes doing circles.."
......
Submitted by burto on December 18, 2006 - 3:56pm."maybe i subconsciously stay awake so late, so i can sleep all day... its ok when im asleep.. or when i just wake up..."
Rob randomly: "i need you,
Submitted by burto on December 20, 2006 - 1:09pm.Rob randomly:
"i need you, to fold fitted sheets with me...
It's romantic i know..."
Someone at work, asking if
Submitted by doughnut on December 5, 2007 - 7:48am.Someone at work, asking if excalibur was real:
"Is that stuff really happen or is it made up like the bible?"